And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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