it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize