Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
