i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
