I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
