Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
