dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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