There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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