..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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