I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
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All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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