No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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