I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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