Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You're like the curious george of whores
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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