Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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