I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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