I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
