I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
