No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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