Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
