Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
