Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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