so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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