So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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