she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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