i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
