foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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