Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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