genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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