there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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