he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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