i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
