So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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