just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
