You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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