Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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