Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
