dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
