Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
