I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There r osticjed everywhere
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
