I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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