Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize