I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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