Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
