I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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