If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
