spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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