thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize