his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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