Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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