when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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