I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
