her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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