I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
