I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
