We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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