Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
