You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
