he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he quoted the bible to break up with me
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
