We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
