Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
