8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
