I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
