dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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